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How to end an arguement

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Many years ago, I took a self-defense class. The instructor said that the best way to win a fight was not to get into one. Good advice!

There is a lot of conflict in this world globally, nationally, at the state level, in businesses, in homes, and in many relationships. I truly believe that peace needs to start in the home and then it will spread outward. How you treat the people you love the most and how the people that love you most treat you is going to be personified out into the world. That’s why one of the Ten Commandments is to love thy neighbor as thy self.

Last weekend, my husband and I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a marriage retreat weekend. I think my husband was hesitant at first because he may have thought it was going to be a weekend of griping at each other. We had done some one-on-one counseling a couple of years ago and a virtual marriage symposium last year. We did learn a few important tips in these sessions, but nothing much changed for the better. I believe now that the reason for this is because I was looking for someone to point out who was right and who was wrong. I didn’t care if I was the one in the wrong, but I just wanted someone to tell us what we were doing like when you talk to your friend and they validate your feelings. This makes me feel good, especially if they say that I am right! Unfortunately, this does nothing to help a relationship because it is fueling a fight and putting you and the other person on opposing teams.

One of the couples in the group had a counselor that made her and her husband look at each other and say, “You are not my enemy”. They would have to repeat this over and over again until they realized that they were a team who needed to work together. Teammates work together to solve problems and lift each other up. When you are looking for who is right and who is wrong, you are not teammates. So the best way to end an argument is not to start one.

How do you handle conflict in your relationships then? Even if you are on the same team, there will be conflict in any relationship because we are all uniquely, wonderfully made. The most important component in any relationship is to put God as the top priority. There is no argument that the Lord doesn’t have a solution for when the time is right. This doesn’t mean that you will pray and all of a sudden everything will be better, but when you put your faith in God for anything that is causing you strife, a feeling of peace will prevail. When you are seeking guidance, God will give it to you in the truest of all formats, whereas the worldly view of your problem will be distorted to reflect your ego. When you have a problem, trust the Lord!

Here’s yet another really awesome idea I heard Pastor Anthony say a couple of weeks ago. Jesus never went to God with his problems. Instead, he brought God to his problems. I’ll admit that I am guilty of handing my problems up to God, which is a great way to not try to do everything on your own, but what a great idea to bring God to your problems.

Be the Light. Spread the Light.

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.


Voyage to HEAL Weekly Focus

Stretch: Let’s up doors to let the Lord’s light shine in. Stand in a doorway with the door hinges on the opposite side of you. Raise your arms into a cactus position against the doorframe and lean forward. Make sure your body is soft from head to toe. If your arms start to go numb or the stretch is too intense, come out of it and then repeat, but don’t give up!

Exercise: Turn that pelvic floor and core on, raise those arms up into the cactus position. Then bring your elbows together and then apart. Create your own amount of resistance as you open and close your arms feeling your chest and make muscles turn on. Make sure to breathe as you do this exercise at least 8 times.

Habitual change: Change your keyboard or mouse for your computer. If you are at the computer a lot, vary things up. There are so many different types of keyboards and mice out there. Go to an electronics store and look around.

Enlightened Perspective: God is the most important part of my life. When he is at the top everything will fall into place. When he isn’t at the top, everything will fall apart.

Journaling Option: What has distracted you from God’s guidance? Are you listening to outside sources to guide you or are you living in the peace of Christ Jesus?

This week’s blog post directly correlates with week 12 of the Voyage to HEAL, Self-Mastery. There are temptations all around us that try to diminish our trust in God. Hold steady and trust in the Lord. May we unite and all feel the peace and love that flows through us from our Lord Jesus Christ. Let peace flow through you and unto me and out to every heart you touch. Come start your Voyage to HEAL.


Godspeed on your Voyage to HEAL.




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