I don’t have time for this! Have you ever caught yourself saying this? Most often it’s when you have too much on your plate and you are rushing around. That’s exactly when the unexpected happens. This can cause you to turn into a chaotic mess full of frustration or enlighten you that something is telling you to slow down.
My kids do this to me all the time as we are getting ready to leave for school in the morning and they can’t find something. We need to get out of the house and they are having a meltdown because they can’t find their favorite toy to bring to school which they aren’t even supposed to be bringing! Ahhhhhhhh! What am I supposed to do with this?
Option 1: Get mad and yell at them so they understand that their needs aren’t as important as getting to school on time. Result: They get even more upset and you are even later AND you’ve damaged your relationship with your child because they don’t feel loved.
Option 2: They get their way and as a process to keep the peace, you help them find their toy making you very late getting them to school. Result: Everyone is happy, but they get a tardy. This may or may not upset them because it devaluates their need to have their toy. They probably won’t care because they at least have their toy. You on the other hand are upset because as the parent you “gave in” and did not do your part to get them to school on time and now you are late for work. So your whole day is spent rushing around.
Option 3: You explain how important the toy is, but at this time we need to leave for school and we will find the toy right away when we get home (knowing that by then they will probably have forgotten about it, right?). The child doesn’t like this idea but accepts it as a valid option and you all leave on time. Win, win solution. Right?
Reading through these, I would have thought that option 3 would be the best result, but the reality of option 3 working is probably a bit much to expect. It does work sometimes, but not always and when it doesn’t you can get even more upset when something is getting in your way of being on time, like traffic. There is nothing you can do about it and getting mad won’t make it better. Most importantly, rushing around doesn’t make it better either because that’s a negative response to a self-imposed stressor.
So truthfully, I would take option 2 and let go of the pressures of time to dictate my life and my emotions. I would change how I felt about being late and surrender to the idea that all that will get done will get done at the time it is supposed to get done. I would also prepare for the next day and ask my child to gather whatever she wanted to bring to school starting 15 minutes before we leave. Live and learn. There’s no room in this world to get upset. We have enough negativity trying to invade our thoughts and lives. Be part of the solution, not the problem.
Yes, you do have the time for this! I have given you all that you need. ~ God
Voyage to HEAL Weekly Focus
Stretch: Have you ever just placed your hands on your cheeks and let them rest there? Try it out and see what happens. You may find that all the tension in your jaw goes away. Let me know.
Exercise: Bite your tongue. Believe it or not, you can also relieve jaw tension by teaching your jaw muscles to turn on and off just like your pelvic floor and core muscles. If your tongue is wide enough, try gently biting down on both sides of your tongue for 5 seconds 5x every day. See if that strengthens the muscles and quiets down the tension.
Habitual change: Stop clenching your jaw when you are uptight and stop rushing around causing you to be uptight. I know, easier said than done, but you have to start somewhere.
Enlightened Perspective: Time means nothing to me.
Journaling Option: How has time directed my life? Was this to my benefit?
This week’s blog post directly correlates with week 9 of the Voyage to HEAL, God’s Plan. Let peace flow through you and unto me and out to every heart you touch. Come start your Voyage to HEAL.
Godspeed on your Voyage to HEAL.
Love,
Jocelyn
