Life happens, but sometimes we are left feeling shame and guilt from these events or the choices we have made.
So, back in October my family and I got COVID. The psychological effect of having to tell people that I had COVID was far worse than the symptoms of having COVID. I was so concerned that I may have passed it onto someone and they would have worse symptoms and long-term effects. I also felt really ashamed that maybe I hadn’t done as much as I could have to prevent getting COVID. I imagined that I was probably being ridiculed that I got COVID because I socialized with others, didn’t always wear a mask, and took unnecessary risks. This just ate away at me. I felt like a leper to be outcast from society. As I journaled to God praying that no one I was in contact with got a serious case of COVID, the message came that shame and guilt had absolutely no place in my life.
The truth is many people who wear masks and socially distance have still gotten COVID. I know several of them. There is no reason that I should beat myself up for circumstances out of my control. Life happens. What’s most important is that I was honest, respectful to others, and did what was needed. Yes, I had COVID. I am not ashamed of it anymore. I do not feel guilty if by chance I did pass it on to someone else because someone unknowingly passed it on to me. It was not intentional. The moment I found out I had it, I notified people and quarantined. That’s the end of the story. My very good friend, whom I did pass COVID onto, was so kind in letting me know that she did not hold it against me. She realized she could have caught it anywhere and I did not purposefully give it to her.
Just like with getting the vaccination, some people may get it and others may not. No one should feel shame or guilt if they get COVID, or not, nor if they get the vaccination, or not. It is a personal choice and we just need respect and honesty across the board. If you do not want to come around me because I had COVID, fine. I respect that. If you want or do not want to get the vaccination, that is fine with me. I will not discriminate against anyone because they or their choices are different from mine. I will also not withhold the truth of where I stand if you ask me. My opinion will not be an attempt to change your mind, but just to be honest. Pushing an agenda on anyone is like forcing an area of the body to release. It will only create resistance.
Hiding the truth is far more harmful than being open and honest. I cannot tell a lie or hide the truth. It just eats away at me. I encourage you to let go of your secrets. Let go of your shame and guilt. Let the world know you, love you, and support you. Those that walk away from you because of your choices or life circumstances actually free you from the cage they put you in as you hid from the truth.
So many other events happen in people’s lives that bring on embarrassment, shame, and guilt. People hide from revealing the truth as if they would be shunned, outcast, ridiculed, discriminated against, or thought less of because of what has happened to them. Stop giving your power away to a negative event. You are greater and stronger than any event in your life. You are not that event or what someone has done to you.
We are transforming into a much more loving and compassionate society that does not want to tolerate injustices. Shame and guilt are a punishment of the past. So don’t instill these punishments on yourself. Love yourself. Move forward leaving any shame or guilt behind you. Let the truth be told. Isn’t that what we all want? Speak the truth.
Honesty is always the best solution especially with yourself.
~ your inner guide
Voyage to HEAL Weekly Task
Stretch: Open your mouth and let’s release the pterygoid muscle. This short muscle that connects your jaw and skull clenches down in fear, stress, and frustration. This tension trickles down the entire body. To find the pterygoid, touch the side of your face by your ear and clench your jaw. Soften and feel the pterygoid contract and relax. Now soften your fingers and melt into this area. You can also release this muscle inside of your mouth by applying pressure to the space in the back, side of your mouth between the upper and lower teeth. Tighten your jaw and you will feel this muscle. Note that it is often so tight that it feels more like a bone. Apply a gentle pressure and slowly sink into the pterygoid. I do recommend resting your elbows on a table while doing this release. Also, use your right hand to release the left pterygoid and vice versa if you are doing the release inside of your mouth.
Exercise: Find a ¼ inch thick folded piece of cloth or rubber or a popsicle stick that is clean and bite down on it 10x a few times a day. Do this while looking into a mirror to make sure that your teeth are aligned. You may notice that your bite is slightly right or left. Make sure it is straight on while doing this exercise. The purpose of this exercise is a neurological input to retrain the pterygoid muscle how to turn on and off. Sometimes a muscle is so incredibly tense that the brain doesn’t know how to turn it off. This exercise will help.
Habitual Change: Stop wearing tight clothes. It restricts blood flow, lymphatic flow, and movement. Free yourself.
Perspective enlightenment: I accept all opinions and show compassion and understanding to everyone, especially myself.
Journaling option: I have held shame, guilt, or embarrassment from this event. If I were my best friend, what would I say to me?
This week’s blog post goes wonderfully with week 4 of the Voyage to HEAL: Vows of Armor. Please listen to this meditation or purchase this week. You can also purchase this meditation in the Inner Peace Meditation CD or starting your full on-line Voyage to HEAL.
Godspeed on your Voyage to HEAL